ÿWPC¶ ¨Ó.*ý$ÃL! 5;nô?­rºZÿqw‚“;´ƒBÖPþóŒ®R2ìy㛎¿Ie:ÚêcÑü¸¸fŽãwÜÄu¢oúÓWe£¹vëïcŒ¡;ø x»˜¤íö¯’)c²8åÉ?» t™Xe¼e¥† ½ÞÛÔÅÁª"Gñ¥¤+m¡ó#J†gûÞœ›Û𒾇Ê<8ˤ/®‰>…[y.¼ ÂôØ$Íps E¯}¬h¬@Á»†À<©ÿ¡o~ªU/”Ëî÷µZ§¥|$ã†<[åžåÓ>ÜGÊ…°·d '?($k:*F|®~DœÍê½oB¶ýîäºõ™DÌ_ÕŸ Ä+o 9?¨å÷µg¾\™_™ê¤õr¿ýûÈxƒ{ÞnO·ûP]¤•:@ÒÉ›-ˆ nôwyïc8Ùä’üÃùà%;7OyœNld»÷)m)×éx& À)i™#‘·Àh8LPk|^«3Ê áþO"P˜°¶Ê¥Å7«Âìëgô:’ç®(~ %GlÛ¤W_ Ža8/xdôÁóàG $MX2œÍýzËJM—M(žu†SÂ!¦—í ¡¡‘F]… êmΞ€ÁvçÈyE š#!ªUNË % 0(NGw@I4‰ mŸ#|x$˜Decio398ÆÜÜÎÎÜÆÜ0(ÖÃ9 Z‹6Times New Roman RegularX($¡¡ UHHHU U!V"E#U$C„]#WP}00001.TMPÿU‹ÿÀÀÀÝ ƒ!ÝÝ  ÝÔ_ÔThe€following€is€the€transcripts€of€Scott€Hahn's€audio€and€video€tape€presentation,€"Christ€andÏthe€Church:€A€Model€for€Marriage"€as€it€appears€in€the€"Catholic€Adult€Education€on€VideoÏProgram"€with€Scott€and€Kimberly€Hahn.€ÌÌ€€In€this€program€Scott€shows€how€the€relationship€between€Christ€and€€His€Church€is€the€perfectÏmodel€for€all€marriages€and€expands€upon€St.€€Paul's€teaching€on€this€most€Holy€Union.ÌÌÓ  Óò òAPPLYING€OUR€FAITH€TO€OUR€FAMILIESÐ $ t ÐChrist€and€the€Church:€A€Model€for€MarriageÌÌScott€Hahnó óÐ è8  ÐFranciscan€University€of€SteubenvilleÌÓÇÓÌ€€€€€€€€Before€I€get€into€my€own€spiel€this€morning,€I€want€to€tell€you€a€brief€story.€There€was€onceÏa€widow;€she€had€just€become€a€widow€a€few€months€before.€She€was€getting€very€lonely.€SheÏmissed€her€husband.€She€decided€she€needed€some€company€so€she€went€down€to€the€pet€storeÏone€morning.€She€walked€in€and€she€said,€"I'm€lonely.€Is€there€anything€here€that€could€help?"€ÏThe€man€looked€around.€Showed€her€some€cats.€She€said,€"No,€I€don't€like€cats."€€He€showed€herÏsome€dogs.€"I€don't€like€dogs."€Then€finally€she€saw€a€parrot€and€she€said,€"What€about€thatÏparrot.€I'd€like€a€parrot€because€then€you€could€hear€a€voice€and€it€wouldn't€be€so€silent.€ItÏwouldn't€be€so€quiet.€It€wouldn't€just€be€a€dog€barking."ÌÌ€€€€€He€said,€"Well,€all€right,€all€right,€a€parrot€would€be€fine."€So€as€she€is€purchasing€the€parrot,Ïhe€said,€"Just€one€thing,€Ma'am.€€We€just€purchased€this€parrot€a€few€weeks€ago€and€he€used€toÏbelong€to€a€crusty€old€sailor.€He€was€that€sailor's€parrot€for€some€30€or€40€years,€so€just€beÏforewarned.€We€don't€know€all€the€things€that€sailor€taught€this€parrot€to€say."€She€said,€"AllÏright,€I'm€forewarned."ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Everything€went€fine€for€a€few€weeks.€They€carried€on€a€nice€relationship,€a€nice€rapport.€ÏThen€one€day€she€went€shopping€and€she€forgot,€because€of€some€special€sale,€to€make€it€home€inÏtime€for€lunch.€She€didn't€feed€the€parrot€until€mid-afternoon.€When€she€walked€into€herÏapartment€that€parrot€was€so€hungry€that€the€first€thing€he€did€was€just€to€let€loose€with€a€series€of€Ïall€the€curses€that€he€had€heard€from€the€sailor.€€She€was€shocked.€She€grabbed€the€parrot€by€theÏthroat,€took€him€out€of€the€cage,€put€him€in€the€freezer€and€slammed€the€door.€ñ ñÌñ ñÌ€€€€€"That€will€teach€you!"€€She€counted€60€seconds,€opened€it€up,€put€it€back€in€the€cage.€"HopeÏyou€learned€a€lesson."€€Well€everything€went€fine€after€that.€He€was€rehabilitated€for€weeks,€forÏmonths;€and€then€one€day€she€was€out€shopping€for€Christmas€and€she€missed€lunch€and€sheÏmissed€dinner.€She€walked€in€and€this€parrot€just€howled,€screamed€a€series€of€curses€that€wouldÏjust€rip€your€ears€off.€She€was€shocked.€She€grabbed€the€parrot€by€the€throat,€pulled€it€out€of€theÏcage,€threw€it€in€the€freezer€and€waited€five€minutes.€She€pulled€the€parrot€out€of€the€freezer€andÏthere€was€ice€at€the€end€of€his€beak.€Expecting€that€the€parrot€wanted€to€utter€an€apology,€sheÏsaid,€"Well,€do€you€have€anything€you'd€like€to€ask?"€€The€parrot€said,€"J-j-j-j-ust€tell€me€oneÏthing.€W-w-w-€what€on€earth€did€that€turkey€in€there€say?"ÌÐ @-(, Ѐ€€€€€€€Well,€I€hope€after€this€morning's€time€you€won't€walk€away€asking€yourselves€the€sameÏquestion,€"W-w-w-w-what€on€earth€did€that€turkey€say?"€€I€hope€we€can€make€this€simple.€I€hopeÏwe€can€make€this€practical.€I€hope€that€this€really€has€practical€utility€in€your€own€everyday€life.€ÌÌññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññIntroduction:€ññÌ€€€€€€€€€€ññThe€Crisis€of€Marriage€and€Family€in€Modern€Society€ññÌññÌ€€€€€€€€But€before€we€get€into€some€of€the€practical€suggestions,€I€would€like€to€put€into€perspectiveÏthe€crisis€of€marriage€and€family€in€our€own€society€today.€I€think€that€the€greatest€threat€toÏmarriage€and€family€life€in€our€country€today€is€pornography.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€I€could€get€off€on€this€for€hours.€I€was€once€the€president€of€"People€Opposing€Pornography"Ïin€Milwaukee.€My€wife€and€I€worked€strenuously€for€months€and€months€to€get€a€state€ordinanceÏagainst€hard-€core€pornography€in€Wisconsin.€We€did€many€other€things,€too.€But€suffice€to€sayÏthat€pornography€at€this€point€in€time€is€a€ten€billion€dollar€a€year€industry.€Their€sales€far€exceedÏthose€of€McDonald's€restaurants.€Recent€surveys€indicate€that€over€75€percent€of€all€pornographyÏmagazines€end€up€in€the€hands€of€teenagers.€So€what€pornography€is€doing€right€now€in€shapingÏthe€values€of€young€people€is€impossible€to€estimate.€ññÌññÌ€€€€€€€€In€addition€to€pornography,€you€know€the€problem€of€divorce.€Statistics€show€us€thatÏtwo-thirds€now€of€all€family€units€have€been€fractured€by€separation€or€divorce.€Over€half€ofÏmarriages€are€ending€in€divorce.€Even€within€the€Catholic€Church€the€divorce€statistics€areÏalarming.€And€when€there€aren't€divorces,€there€are€simple€annulments,€we€often€have€a€scandalÏthere,€as€well.€€I€just€read€last€week€that€last€year€--€or€every€year€actually€--€there's€an€annualÏaverage€of€80,000€annulments€in€the€Catholic€Church€per€year.€Church€lawyers,€canon€lawyersÏhave€found€27€different€grounds€for€annulments€on€the€basis€of€psychic€disturbance.ÌÌ€€€€€It€seems€as€though,€even€within€the€Church€there€are€people€who€are€trying€to€weaken€orÏcripple€the€holy€bonds€of€matrimony.€In€addition€to€pornography€and€divorce,€there€is€alsoÏrampant€homosexuality€in€our€culture.€This,€I€think,€is€an€especially€grave€problem€because€of€theÏstatistics€that€are€emerging€concerning€the€homosexual€lifestyle.€€It€is€a€statistical€fact€that,€onÏaverage,€homosexuals€in€one€year€have€between€50€and€100€partners,€many€of€whom€they€haveÏnever€met,€many€of€whom€they€do€not€even€know€by€name.€Seventy-three€percent€ofÏhomosexuals€have€admitted€to€having€sex€with€boys€16€to€19€years€of€age€and€younger.€ññÌññÌ€€€€€€€€So€we€are€faced€with€a€crisis€on€two€or€three,€or€four,€or€five€different€fronts.€We€couldÏprobably€name€some€other€sources€of€the€crisis,€as€well.€But€our€children€depend€upon€us.€WeÏneed€to€look€at€marriage€to€understand€what€Our€Lord€and€Savior,€Jesus€Christ€has€done€inÏtransforming€marriage€into€a€sacrament.ÌÌ€€€€€Back€in€March€of€1974€-€think€of€that,€seventeen€years€ago€--€in€Ms€Magazine,€the€editor,ÏGloria€Steinem€printed€an€article€titled,€"A€Child's€Bill€of€Rights."€€In€this€article,€it€cried€out€thatÏchildren€had€the€right€to€conduct€their€sexual€lives€with€no€more€restriction€than€adults.€It€goes€onÏto€say€that€sexual€freedom€for€children€must€include€the€right€to€non-sexist,€that€isÏnon-judgmental€education€and€the€right€to€all€sexual€activities€that€are€legal€among€consentingÏadults.€That's€frightening,€but€it€underlines,€it€really€highlights€the€need€we€have€as€spouses,€asÐ @-(, Ðparents,€as€Catholics,€as€believers,€as€Americans€to€shore€up€our€own€understanding€of€marriageÏand€the€family,€and€our€commitment€to€living€it€out€according€to€the€law€of€Christ€and€the€graceÏHe€provides€us,€and€also€to€fulfilling€our€own€apostolic€mandate€as€believers€to€go€out€as€soldiersÏof€Christ€to€extend€the€crown€rights€of€King€Jesus€in€this€very€vital€area.ÌÌÌññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññBiblical€Perspective€on€Marriageññ€ññññÌ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññand€the€FamilyÌÌ€€€€€But€all€of€this€is€introduction.€€I€want€to€spend€some€time€with€you€this€morning€considering€aÏBiblical€perspective€on€marriage€and€the€family€and€in€particular,€I'd€like€to€look€at€how€theÏChrist-Church€relationship€provides€us€with€a€model€for€our€own€marriage.€The€key€texts€for€thisÏconsideration€are€from€Ephesians€5€and€also€Matthew€19.€Those€are€the€texts€that€you€shouldÏknow€as€Catholics.€If€people€ask€you,€they€approach€you€and€say,€"Why€do€you€all€regardÏmatrimony€as€a€sacrament?€Why€do€you€think€that€Jesus€Christ€made€marriage€absolutely€andÏstrictly€monogamous€with€no€possibility€for€divorce€and€remarriage?"€€You€need€to€know€whereÏto€turn.€Ephesians€5€beginning€with€verse€21€and€going€all€the€way€down€into€chapter€6,€verses€3Ïand€4.€And€then€also€Matthew€19,€1€through€12,€and€we€are€also€going€to€look€at€the€parallel€textÏto€that,€the€same€account€as€described€€in€Mark€10,€1€through€12.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€So€write€that€down.€Keep€that€in€mind.€Know€those€texts.€In€Ephesians€5,€verse€21,€we€read,Ï"Be€subject€to€one€another€out€of€reverence€for€Christ.€Wives€be€subject€to€your€husbands€as€toÏthe€Lord.€For€the€husband€is€the€head€of€the€wife€as€Christ€is€the€head€of€the€Church,€His€body,Ïand€is€himself€its€savior.€As€the€Church€is€subject€to€Christ,€so€let€wives€also€be€subject€inÏeverything€to€their€husbands."€That€is€an€unpopular€statement€by€the€Apostle€Paul.€Unpopular€inÏthe€Church€and€even€more€unpopular€outside€the€Church€in€the€world.€But€it's€an€inspiredÏstatement€that€we€need€to€understand€and€come€to€grips€with€in€our€own€minds€and€in€our€ownÏlives€as€well.ÌÌ€€€€€It's€frightening€for€me€to€think€about€the€responsibility€of€women€and€wives€in€particular,€inÏlight€of€that€verse.€"For€the€husband€is€the€head€of€the€wife€and€Christ€is€the€head€of€the€Church,ÏHis€body,€and€is€himself€its€savior.€As€the€Church€is€subject€to€Christ,€so€let€wives€also€be€subjectÏin€everything€to€their€husbands."€And€husbands,€I'll€bet€would€like€to€stop€there;€and€just€say,Ï"Let's€contemplate€this€for€a€while."€But€women€are€troubled€thinking,€"I€haven't€come€to€thisÏconference€to€hear€some€impossible€commandment."€€Well,€if€you€think€that's€impossible,€listenÏto€the€next€verse:€"Husbands€love€your€wives€as€Christ€loved€the€Church€and€gave€himself€up€forÏher."ÌÌ€€€€€If€you€think€it's€almost€impossible€for€a€mortal€woman€to€submit€to€a€mortal€and€fallible€manÏin€marriage,€I€would€suggest€it's€actually€more€impossible,€in€human€terms,€for€the€husband€toÏfulfill€the€second€injunction,€"...to€love€your€wife€as€Christ€loved€the€Church€and€gave€himself€upÏfor€her."€That€is€absolute€and€total€self-sacrifice!€€Christ€was€not€saying,€"Grovel,€submit,€bowÏdown."€€He€was€saying,€"I€love€you.€I€want€to€show€it.€I'll€die€for€you."€€It€goes€on€to€say,€"...gaveÏhimself€up€for€her,€that€He€might€sanctify€her,€having€cleansed€her€by€the€washing€of€water€withÏthe€word."€€In€other€words,€Christ€sanctifies€the€Church€as€spiritual€leader.€He€provides€husbandsÏwith€the€model€of€how€they€are€to€live€out€their€own€love€for€their€wives€as€husbands€imitatingÐ @-(, ÐChrist.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€One€of€the€problems€we're€going€to€address€in€this€weekend€conference€is€the€crisis€ofÏmasculinity€and€spirituality,€because€in€America€today,€to€be€religious€and€male€is€to€beÏeffeminate.€That's€a€fact.€You€look€at€most€churches,€you€look€at€most€religious€organizationsÏand€meetings€and€the€majority€of€people€are€women.€And€the€majority€of€people€in€leadershipÏpositions€are€usually€women.€Ann€Marshall€wrote€a€book€recently,€about€fifteen€years€ago,Ïentitled,€The€Feminization€of€American€Culture,€and€she€focuses€particularly€upon€AmericanÏchurch€life€to€show€how€religion€is€commonly€€perceived€as€being€the€woman's€province.ÌÌ€€€€€Not€so€for€St.€Paul!€He€tells€us€that€the€husband,€in€imitation€of€Christ,€is€to€sanctify€the€wife.ÏThat€doesn't€mean€bossing€around,€telling€her€what€to€do.€It€means€leadership€by€servanthood€andÏby€example€and€it€means€that€he€is€responsible€in€his€own€household€to€provide€spiritualÏleadership.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€We€could€just€stop€with€that€and€ponder€it€for€a€few€minutes€and€have€more€than€enough€toÏtake€home€and€be€challenged€to€live€out.€It€goes€on,€"...€that€He€might€present€the€Church€toÏhimself€in€splendor€without€spot€or€wrinkle€or€any€such€thing,€that€she€might€be€holy€and€withoutÏblemish.€€Even€so,€husbands€should€love€their€wives€as€their€own€bodies.€He€who€loves€his€wifeÏloves€himself€for€no€man€ever€hates€his€own€flesh,€but€nourishes€and€cherishes€it,€as€Christ€doesÏthe€Church€because€we€are€members€of€His€body.€For€this€reason€a€man€shall€leave€his€father€andÏhis€mother€and€be€joined€to€his€wife€and€the€two€shall€become€one€flesh."€ññÌññÌ€€€€€€€€Verse€32€is€the€all-important€verse:€"This€mystery€is€a€profound€one."€But€that€word€inÏGreek,€mysterium€is€where€we€get€the€word€mystery.€But€the€Latin€rendering€of€that€is€the€word,Ï"sacramentum."€It's€a€magnum€sacramental,€a€great€sacramental€mystery.€"This€mystery€is€aÏprofound€one,€and€I€am€saying€that€it€refers€to€Christ€and€the€Church.€However,€let€each€one€ofÏyou€love€his€wife€as€himself,€and€let€the€wife€see€that€she€respects€her€husband."€€TheÏChrist-Church€relationship€is€the€model€for€every€one€of€our€marriages,€and€I€think€it's€especiallyÏchallenging€for€men€to€ponder€Christ's€role€in€that€marital€covenant.ÌÌÌññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññMark€10:1-12ÌÌ€€€€€Now€we€could€spend€some€more€time€in€this€text€but€I€would€like€to€focus€our€attentionÏbriefly€upon€another€text€in€Mark,€chapter€10.€In€Mark€10,€we€read,€"And€He€left€there€and€wentÏto€the€region€of€Judea€beyond€the€Jordan.€Crowds€gathered€to€Him€again,€and€again,€as€HisÏcustom€was,€He€taught€them.€And€Pharisees€came€up€in€order€to€test€Him€and€asked€Him,€'Is€itÏlawful€for€a€man€to€divorce€his€wife€for€any€cause?'"€€Now,€something€that€you€might€notÏrecognize,€but€it's€blatant€there€in€the€text€is€the€geographical€placement€and€the€timing€for€theÏPharisees'€question.ÌÌ€€€€€The€Pharisees€are€deliberately€targeting€Jesus€with€the€question€not€because€they€don't€knowÏthe€answer,€but€because€they€want€to€trap€Jesus.€They€are€already€past€the€point€where€they€thinkÏHe€has€anything€to€offer€them.€They€have€reached€the€point€where€they€are€simply€trying€toÐ @-(, Ðdiscredit€Him,€or€better€yet,€to€put€Him€in€the€same€trap€that€John€the€Baptist€found€himself.€TheyÏwould€like€to€see€Him€executed.€So€they€wait€until€Jesus€is€in€the€same€region€where€John€theÏBaptist€found€himself€proclaiming€as€sin€the€marriage€between€Herod€and€Herod's€brother's€wife.ÏYou€recall€that€story,€don't€you?€How€John€the€Baptist€denounced€Herod€for€his€adultery€inÏtaking€his€brother's€wife€as€his€own,€and€all€the€religious€leaders€in€Jerusalem€were€too€cowardlyÏto€denounce€this€sin.€John€the€Baptist,€however,€did.€And€he€had€him€arrested€and€eventuallyÏdecapitated.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Now€the€Pharisees€had€deliberately€waited€until€Christ€is€in€that€same€region€and€now€theyÏapproach€Him€and€say,€"Is€it€lawful€for€a€man€to€divorce€his€wife€for€any€cause?"€Why€raise€thatÏquestion€on€this€occasion,€in€this€place?€They€are€trying€to€trap€Him.€They€are€trying€to€put€HimÏinto€a€position€where€He€will€end€up€saying€similar€things€to€what€John€the€Baptist€said,€so€thatÏsimilar€things€might€befall€Him.€They€would€be€rid€of€this€man€Jesus.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€He€answered€them,€"What€did€Moses€command€you?"€They€said,€"Moses€allowed€a€man€toÏwrite€a€certificate€of€divorce€and€to€put€her€away."€But€Jesus€said€to€them,€"For€your€hardness€ofÏheart,€he€wrote€you€this€commandment,€but€from€the€beginning€of€creation€God€made€them€maleÏand€female.€For€this€reason€a€man€shall€leave€his€father€and€mother€and€be€joined€to€his€wife€andÏthe€two€shall€become€one€flesh,€so€they€are€no€longer€two€but€one€flesh.€What,€therefore,€God€hasÏjoined€together,€let€not€man€put€asunder."ÌÌ€€€€€What€points€can€we€derive€from€this?€Well€firstly,€back€in€Ephesians€5,€we€saw€that€Paul€wasÏdescribing€marriage€now€as€a€mystery,€as€a€sacrament€-€a€sacramental€mystery€that€is€meant€toÏreflect€Christ€and€the€Church.€Now€that€Christ€has€united€himself€perfectly€and€permanently€toÏthe€Church€as€to€His€bride,€He€has€endowed€Christian€marriage€with€sacramental€grace,€withÏspecific€powers€that€we€need€to€live€out€this€indissoluble€covenant€bond.€The€question€emerges,Ïthough,€if€Paul€in€Ephesians€5€cites€a€passage€from€Genesis,€chapters€1€and€2€to€describe€thisÏmystery,€"A€man€shall€leave€his€mother€and€cleave€to€his€wife,"€why€wasn't€marriage€a€sacramentÏin€the€Old€Testament?€After€all,€that's€where€Paul€goes€to€explain€the€mystery€of€Christ€and€theÏChurch€and€how€that€is€a€reflection€of€the€marriage€covenant.€Why€wasn't€marriage€a€sacramentÏin€the€old€covenant?ÌÌ€€€€€Well,€there€are€some€theological€reasons€we€can't€get€into€but€the€real€down-to-earth€reason€isÏgiven€here€by€Our€Lord€in€Mark€10.€Moses€permitted€divorce€because€of€the€"hardness€of€heart."ÏThe€Old€Testament€gives€to€us€a€record€of€what€happened€after€Adam's€sin€and€before€ChristÏgave€us€the€grace€to€live€out€the€marriage€covenant€perfectly.€What€would€you€think€if€I€told€youÏthat€yesterday€I€was€reading€a€book€that€was€replete€with€all€kinds€of€lurid€examples€of€incest,Ïadultery,€fornication,€homosexuality€and€other€licentious,€sexual€sins?€You€would€probably€think,Ï"What€are€you€doing€reading€such€material?"€But€I€was€reading€Genesis!ÌÌ€€€€€€€€When€you€read€Genesis,€you€read€about€the€rape€of€Dinah,€the€seduction€of€Joseph,€theÏhomosexuality€of€Sodom,€the€adultery€of€Judah€along€with€Judah€going€to€a€prostitute.€You€readÏabout€the€incest€with€Lot,€Onan's€act€of€contraception,€Lamech's€polygamy,€Abraham'sÏconcubinage€-€just€about€every€sexual€sin€that€one€can€imagine€is€there€in€the€first€book€of€theÏBible!€But€there's€one€difference€between€Genesis€and€its€record€of€all€these€immoral€sins€andÐ @-(, Ðother€books,€magazines€and€articles€that€you€can€find€that€detail€these€as€well.€The€one€differenceÏis€that€Genesis€shows€us€the€realistic€consequences€that€follow€upon€those€sins.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€I€teach€an€Introduction€to€Scripture€course€at€the€University€of€Steubenville.€One€thing€that€IÏcould€do€in€going€through€the€Book€of€Genesis€is€to€highlight€these€sexual€sins€because€these€areÏthe€things€that€people€hear€about€all€the€time€in€our€society.€You€can't€turn€on€the€radio€or€theÏtelevision€without€seeing€lurid€examples€of€these€particular€acts.€But€I€show€them€how€in€theÏnarrative€of€Genesis,€these€sins€always€play€themselves€out,€so€that€every€time€ancient€IsraelÏhears€about€one€of€their€mortal€foes,€the€Moabites,€the€Ammonites,€the€Canaanites,€theÏEgyptians,€the€Assyrians,€the€Babylonians€-€every€single€one€of€Israel's€mortal€foes,€as€a€nation,€isÏtraceable€back€to€an€immoral€act,€a€sexual€sin.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Genesis€shows€how€the€sins€of€parents,€especially€in€the€sexual€realm€are€carried€out€in€theÏlives€of€their€children,€their€grandchildren,€their€great-great-great€grandchildren,€so€that€in€time,Ïnations€which€do€not€renounce€the€sins€of€their€progenitors,€their€founding€fathers,€will€actuallyÏlive€out€those€sins€on€a€social€level,€institutionalized€in€effect.€So€that€in€the€land€of€Canaan€youÏhave€ritual€incest€being€practiced€in€the€temples.€You€have€adultery,€homosexuality,€bestiality€asÏwell€as€incest.€But€Genesis€shows€us€what€practical€consequences€follow€and€how€these€sinsÏshatter€the€unity€of€God's€family,€because€every€nation€responsible€for€breaking€the€covenant€andÏbreaking€away€from€the€human€family€of€God€-€every€single€nation€without€exception€breaksÏitself€away€in€the€act€of€sexual€immorality.€ññÌññÌ€€€€So,€in€effect,€Genesis€sets€the€stage€for€Exodus,€Leviticus,€Numbers€and€Deuteronomy.€AllÏfive€of€those€books€comprise€the€law€of€Moses.€But€what€is€so€curious€about€the€law€of€MosesÏfrom€our€perspective€is€that€it€begins€with€the€Genesis€narrative.€It€doesn't€begin€with€the€tenÏcommandments.€It€doesn't€begin€with€all€these€ordinances€and€statutes.€Instead€it€begins€withÏstories.€Why?€Because€God€knows€that€the€best€way€to€teach€people€righteousness€is€not€simplyÏgiving€them€a€list€of€do's€and€don'ts,€but€by€showing€them€in€a€real-life€history€what€happensÏwhen€you€violate€the€divine€commandments,€especially€in€the€realm€of€marriage€and€sexualityÏand€family€life.ÌÌ€€€€€Why€is€this€area€so€important?€It€goes€back€to€the€very€beginning€of€Genesis€when€GodÏcreated€man€in€His€own€image€and€likeness.€He€created€man,€male€and€female,€and€the€firstÏutterance€from€God€to€man,€male€and€female,€is€this€blessing€and€then€this€command€to€beÏfruitful€and€multiply.€€But€God€€would€not€be€commanding€man,€male€and€female,€to€be€fruitfulÏand€multiply€unless€they€were€married.€Marriage,€you€see,€is€a€divine€institution€in€which€manÏfinds€himself€at€creation.€Man,€male€and€female,€are€created€in€the€image€and€likeness€of€God€byÏbeing€created€in€the€covenant€relationship€of€marriage.€That€is€the€primordial€image€of€God,€andÏGod€says,€"Be€fruitful€and€multiply.€Let€the€two€become€one,"€and€they€discovered€in€this€act€ofÏmarriage€how€the€oneness€is€more€than€just€a€fleeting€emotion.€It's€more€than€just€a€physicalÏsensation,€it€becomes€a€real€fact.€It€becomes€a€metaphysical€reality€because€when€the€two€becomeÏone,€nine€months€later€you've€got€to€give€that€"one"€a€name€and€that€child€embodies€the€onenessÏthat€the€two€became€-€to€show€those€two€that€God€has€designed€their€oneness€to€be€permanent,€toÏbe€exclusive,€to€be€life-giving€and€therefore,€to€be€faithful.ÌÐ @-(, Ѐ€€€€€€€So€from€the€beginning€of€Genesis€apart€from€any€statutes€or€ordinances,€do's€and€don'ts,€GodÏis€telling€the€story€of€His€own€family€and€how€He€created€His€family€to€reflect€himself€becauseÏour€God,€in€the€Blessed€Trinity,€is€an€eternal€family.€So€when€the€two€become€one€and€thenÏbecome€three,€their€oneness€is€deepened.€It's€magnified.€It's€enriched.€And€so€the€three€are€evenÏmore€one€than€when€they€were€first€created€in€marriage.€That€is€the€mystery€of€marriage€from€theÏvery€beginning.€But€then€this€mystery€is€distorted€and€torn€apart,€ripped€to€shreds€by€the€first€sinÏof€our€parents.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Notice€how€the€curse€of€God€placed€upon€Adam€and€Eve€focuses€on€aspects€of€their€maritalÏlife.€The€first€thing€they€do€is€to€cover€themselves€with€fig€leaves.€Now,€where€do€you€think€theyÏput€the€fig€leaves?€Do€you€think€they€put€them€on€their€elbows,€their€knee€caps,€their€ankles?€ÏWhy€is€it€we€don't€need€to€be€told€where€they€put€the€fig€leaves?€€We€just€know€where€they€putÏthem.€€Well,€how€do€we€just€know?€Why€is€that€not€a€case€of€reading€in€the€Bible€some€Western,Ï20th€Century€sexual€hang-up?€Because€this€is€a€reality.€This€is€a€truth€that€far€transcends€ourÏculture€or€any€other€society.€We€know€where€they€put€them€and€we€hear€the€Lord€say.€HeÏdescribes€the€marriage€relationship€in€Genesis€3€in€terms€that€directly€relate€to€their€own€sexualÏlife€together.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€To€the€woman€He€said,€"I€will€greatly€multiply€your€pain€in€childbirth.€In€pain€you€shallÏbring€forth€children,€yet€your€desire€shall€be€for€your€husband€and€he€shall€rule€over€you."€And€toÏAdam€He€said,€"Because€you€have€listened€to€the€voice€of€your€wife€and€have€eaten€of€the€treeÏwhich€I€commanded,€'You€shall€not€eat€of€it,'€cursed€is€the€ground,"€etc.€etc.€God's€response€to€theÏsin€of€our€first€parents€is€to€show€them€what€impact€that€sin€has€on€their€own€marriage€covenantÏand€on€the€outcome€of€their€marital€union€and€childbearing.ÌÌ€€€€€God€is€telling€us€from€the€very€beginning€that€the€first€thing€that€sin€does€is€to€destroy€thisÏmarital€covenant€that€God€established€when€He€first€made€us.€In€His€own€image€and€likeness€HeÏmade€us€to€be€three€in€one€and€then€to€be€four€in€one€and€then€five,€by€being€fruitful€andÏmultiplying€and€showing€forth€the€infinite€love€and€life€of€God€in€history,€the€history€of€God'sÏfamily.€So€the€Book€of€Genesis€just€plays€out€like€a€tragic€horror€story,€detailing€certain€sexualÏsins€and€then,€their€long-term€consequences.ÌÌ€€€€€Many€of€those€consequences€are€not€recognized€until€three€or€four€or€five€centuries€later,Ïwhen€the€great-great-great€grandchildren€are€in€a€sense€inheriting€the€results€of€these€certainÏforms€of€deviant€behavior.€That's€the€way€to€teach€law€and€when€I'm€teaching€my€kids€at€homeÏwhat€they€should€be€doing,€I€discovered€about€three€years€ago€that€if€you€just€simply€give€themÏcommandments€and€do's€and€don'ts,€they€don't€sink€in.€So€I€made€it€a€point,€when€I€was€tuckingÏthem€into€bed,€to€tell€them€stories,€to€tell€them€long,€involved,€narrative€stories€involving€allÏkinds€of€action€and€drama.€And€they're€getting€into€this.€And€I€would€load€up€into€those€storiesÏthe€very€moral€lessons€that€I'd€been€trying€to€teach€them€through€the€day.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€It€wasn't€until€the€end€of€the€day,€when€they€heard€those€stories€and€they€could€see€theÏconsequences€of€misbehavior€and€disobedience€that€the€lessons€really€sunk€in.€That's€why€weÏneed€to€become€more€familiar€with€the€Bible.€We€need€to€see€what€happens€to€societies,€toÏnations,€to€civilizations€when€they€embrace€as€alternative€lifestyles€sinful€actions€that€tear€apartÐ @-(, Ðthe€covenant€of€marriage.ÌÌÌññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññJohn€4:7-41ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Now,€we€could€describe€some€more€of€the€moral€teaching€from€scripture€here,€but€what€IÏwould€like€to€do€for€just€a€few€minutes,€if€you€have€a€Bible,€turn€with€me€to€John,€chapter€4.ÏWe've€looked€at€the€New€Testament€teachings€on€marriage€thus€far€and€how€Paul€describesÏmarriage€as€a€mystery,€as€a€sacrament.€Then€we€went€back€to€Mark€10€or€Matthew€19€to€see€howÏJesus€instituted€this€by€elevating€marriage€to€be€a€sacrament€and€confirming€the€indissolubility€ofÏmarriage€which€God€had€designed€it€to€have€at€the€very€outset€in€creation.ÌÌ€€€€€For€about€the€last€five€minutes,€we've€looked€at€the€Old€Testament€briefly€to€see€whatÏhappens,€practically€speaking,€when€people€mess€around€with€this€area€of€their€lives.€And€youÏcan€see€that€the€consequences€are€very,€very€great€and€catastrophic.€But€there's€one€particularÏepisode€that€I€find€particularly€interesting€in€John€4,€beginning€in€verse€7:€"There€came€in€aÏwoman€of€Samaria€to€draw€water.€Jesus€said€to€her,€'Give€me€drink.'€His€disciples€had€gone€awayÏinto€the€city€to€buy€food.€The€Samaritan€woman€said€to€Him,€'How€is€it€that€you,€a€Jew,€ask€aÏdrink€of€me,€a€woman€of€Samaria,€for€Jews€have€no€dealings€with€Samaritans?'"€much€lessÏwomen€Samaritans.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€"Jesus€answered€her,€'If€you€knew€the€gift€of€God€and€who€it€is€that's€saying€to€you,€'give€meÏa€drink,'€you€would€have€asked€Him€and€He€would€have€given€you€living€water.'€The€woman€saidÏto€Him,€'Sir,€you€have€nothing€to€draw€with€and€the€well€is€deep.€Where€do€you€get€that€livingÏwater?€Are€you€greater€than€our€Father€Jacob,€who€gave€us€the€well€and€drank€from€it€himself,Ïand€his€sons€and€his€cattle?'€€Jesus€said€to€her,€'Everyone€who€drinks€of€this€water€will€thirstÏagain,€but€whoever€drinks€of€the€water€that€I€shall€give€them€will€never€thirst.€The€water€that€IÏshall€give€him€will€become€in€him€a€spring€of€water€welling€up€to€eternal€life.'€€The€woman€saidÏto€Him,€'Sir,€give€me€this€water€that€I€may€not€thirst€nor€come€here€to€draw.'"ÌÌ€€€€€€€€"Jesus€said€to€her,€'Go,€call€your€husband€and€come€here.'€€The€woman€answered€Him,€'IÏhave€no€husband.'€€Jesus€said€to€her,€'You€are€right€in€saying€you€have€no€husband€for€you€haveÏhad€five€husbands€and€he€whom€you€now€have€is€not€your€husband.€This€you€said€truly.'€€TheÏwoman€said€to€Him,"€--€What?€€Up€until€now€the€story€has€been€familiar.€What€does€the€womanÏsay€in€response?€"Go,€get€your€husband."€€"I€don't€have€a€husband."€€"You're€right,€you€don't€haveÏa€husband.€You've€had€five€husbands,€and€the€one€you€are€with€right€now€is€not€your€husband."€ññÌññÌ€€€€€She€says,€what?€"Sir,€I€perceive€that€you€are€a€--€gossip?"€In€other€words,€you€have€beenÏprying€into€personal€affairs€that€are€not€your€own?€In€other€words,€mind€your€own€business?€SoÏwhat,€if€I've€had€five€husbands,€what€difference€is€that€to€you,€a€Jew?€You€don't€even€live€here.ÏWhat€business€do€you€have€prying€into€my€own€personal€problems,€my€life€crisis?"€€She€doesn'tÏsay€that,€though,€does€she?ÌÌ€€€€€€€€She€says,€"Sir,€I€perceive€you€are€a€prophet."€€A€little€bit€of€background€might€help€here.ÏYou€see,€the€Samaritans€didn't€believe€in€the€prophets.€If€you€had€a€copy€of€the€Samaritan€Bible,Ð @-(, Ðit€was€much€shorter€than€the€Jewish€Bible.€The€Jewish€Bible€consisted€of€the€Law€and€theÏProphets.€The€Samaritan€Bible€consisted€of€the€Law,€the€five€Books€of€Moses,€and€that€was€it.ÏThey€didn't€accept€any€of€the€prophets€as€inspired€scripture.€€Why€not?€Because€all€of€theÏprophets,€practically€without€exception,€denounced€Samaria€and€called€the€Samaritans€idolatersÏfor€worshipping€God€on€Mount€€Perazim€and€following€the€ways€of€the€idolaters,€the€BaalÏworshippers,€the€followers€of€Baal.ÌÌ€€€€€So,€if€you€are€constantly€hearing€prophets€denounce€your€own€nation,€your€own€people,€yourÏown€lifestyle,€you're€not€going€to€include€their€writings€in€your€sacred€scripture,€and€theÏSamaritans€didn't.€Consequently€the€Samaritans€didn't€believe€in€prophets€like€the€Jews€did.€ButÏthe€Samaritans€did€believe€in€the€one€prophet,€because€in€the€Law,€in€the€Book€of€Deuteronomy,Ïchapter€18,€Moses€issues€a€promise:€that€there€will€come€one€like€unto€Moses.€God€will€send€theÏMessiah,€a€deliverer,€and€He€will€be,€"a€prophet€like€unto€Moses."ÌÌ€€€€€So,€the€Samaritans€didn't€believe€in€prophets.€They€only€believed€in€one€prophet,€the€prophetÏwho€was€to€come,€the€"prophet€like€unto€Moses."€That€prophet€they€identified€with€the€Messiah.ÏListen€to€this€woman€again.€€Jesus€had€just€said€to€her,€"You're€right€in€saying€you€have€noÏhusband.€You€have€had€five€husbands€and€the€one€you€are€with€now€is€not€your€husband.€€SheÏsaid,€'Sir,€I€perceive€you€are€a€prophet.'"€€For€a€Samaritan€to€say,€"You€are€a€prophet,"€isÏpractically€tantamount€to€saying,€"I€perceive€you€might€be€the€Messiah."ÌÌ€€€€€Now,€what€on€earth€did€Jesus€say€to€give€her€any€indication€of€His€own€identity€as€Messiah?ÏWhen€you€read€the€story€on€the€surface,€you€don't€have€an€answer€to€that€question.€But€when€youÏdig€deeper€and€deeper,€you'll€find€one.€You€see,€the€prophet€that€God€sent€to€Samaria€constantlyÏwarned€the€Samaritans€about€their€sinful€practices€and€how€they€were€constantly€living€like€theÏother€nations.€So€when€the€Samaritans€had€broken€away€from€the€Jews€900€years€before€Christ,€aÏseries€of€prophets€kept€warning€and€threatening€them€saying,€"You€know€what's€going€to€happenÏas€a€result€of€your€sin.€You€are€going€to€be€cursed.€You€are€going€to€be€conquered.€You€are€goingÏto€be€defeated€by€enemies."ÌÌ€€€€€In€2nd€Kings,€chapter€17,€God€reminds€the€Samaritans€some€700€years€before€Christ€what€theÏconsequences€of€their€sinful€behavior€would€be.€He€says€in€effect,€"I€sent€you€all€these€prophetsÏand€you've€ignored€them€or€you've€maligned€them€or€you've€tortured€them.€You€haven't€paid€heedÏat€all€to€their€message.€Therefore,€I€will€give€you€over€to€the€nations€--€one€nation€in€particular€--Ïthe€Assyrians.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€In€722,€the€Assyrians€came€into€Samaria€and€slaughtered€the€Samaritans€and€forciblyÏresettled€five€different€groups€of€foreigners€in€the€land€of€Samaria.€There€God€propheticallyÏspeaks€of€how€back€700€years€before€Christ,€the€Samaritans€who€survived€and€who€stayed€in€theÏland€of€Samaria€would€be€surrounded€by€all€these€idolatrous€pagans€who€would€bring€in€theirÏidols,€their€Baals.€They€would€worship€Baal.€You've€heard€of€Bayal€worship€or€Baal€worship.ÌÌ€€€€€God€said,€"Because€you've€imitated€these€nations,€they€are€coming€to€you,€and€they€areÏbringing€their€gods,€their€false€gods,€their€idols.€In€the€Hebrew€it's€"Baalene,"€their€idols.€€But€inÏparticular,€2nd€Kings€17€specifically€lists€five€different€Baals€that€the€Samaritans€would€beÐ @-(, Ðsurrounded€by€as€these€five€foreign€peoples€settled€in€their€land.€So€the€Samaritans€had€beenÏwarned€and€then€they€were€shown€what€consequences€would€follow.€Five€peoples€would€beÏforcibly€resettled€in€their€own€homeland€and€they€would€bring€in€these€five€idols€and€worshipÏtheir€Baals.ÌÌ€€€€€One€interesting€fact€that€you€might€not€be€aware€of€--€what€is€the€Hebrew€word€for€husband?ÏThere€are€different€words,€but€one€very€common€word€for€husband€is€Baal.€Interesting,€isn't€it?ÏYou€see,€there€were€two€different€kinds€of€marriages€in€the€Old€Testament.€You€can€see€thisÏreflected€in€Galatians,€chapter€4,€where€Paul€says,€"You€desire€to€be€under€the€law.€Don't€youÏhear€the€law,€for€it€is€written€that€Abraham€had€two€sons,€one€by€a€slave€and€one€by€a€freeÏwoman."€You€see€he€had€two€sons€because€he€had€what?€Two€marriages.€One€by€a€slave€woman,ÏHagar,€and€one€by€a€free€woman.€But€the€son€of€the€slave€was€born€according€to€the€flesh.€TheÏson€of€the€free€woman€through€promise.€Then€he€goes€on€to€show€how€Hagar,€the€slave€wife,€theÏconcubine,€bore€Ishmael€and€how€Sarah,€the€free€wife,€the€first€wife,€the€only€wife€Abraham€wasÏsupposed€to€have,€bore€Isaac,€the€child€of€promise.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€You€see,€back€in€the€ancient€times,€if€you€were€a€husband,€if€you€were€a€man,€€you€were€aÏpatriarchal€figure€and€you€wanted€to€extend€your€own€power€and€influence,€you€wanted€toÏacquire€more€power,€you€used€sex.€You€would€multiply€concubines€because€in€multiplying€wivesÏor€concubine€slave€women,€you€would€be€multiplying€slaves,€because€all€of€the€children€theyÏwould€have€would€be,€in€effect,€your€slaves€later€on.€So€Hagar€bore€children€for€slavery,€whereasÏSarah€bore€Abraham€children€for€freedom.€Sarah€would€address€Abraham€as€"'adon,"€the€wordÏfor€husband€in€Hebrew€that€a€free€woman€would€utter;€whereas€Hagar€would€describe€AbrahamÏas€"Ba'ali,"€my€"Baal,"€my€master,€my€Lord€husband,€because€a€concubine€understood€that€sheÏwas€owned€by€her€husband.€Two€forms€of€marriage€--€one€for€freedom€and€the€other€one€forÏslavery.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€The€Samaritans€understood€all€of€this€because€one€of€the€greatest€prophecies€in€the€OldÏTestament€is€found€in€Hosea,€chapter€2,€where€the€prophet€Hosea€comes€up€against€Samaria€andÏwarned€the€Samaritans€what's€going€to€happen.€€He€says€in€effect,€"Because€you€have€followedÏthese€false€gods,€these€Baals,€you€are€going€to€be€given€over€to€those€who€worship€Baal€and€thatÏtheir€worshippers€are€going€to€bring€their€Baals€into€your€land€and€they€are€going€to€overrunÏyou."€And€there€is€this€tradition€in€scripture€that€the€Samaritans€were€subjected€to€five€differentÏpeoples€with€their€five€different€Baals.ÌÌ€€€€€But€there€will€come€a€day,€Hosea€promises,€when€the€Lord€will€allure€Israel,€Samaritans€andÏbring€the€Samaritans€back€into€the€wilderness.€And€in€Hosea€2:16€we€read,€"And€in€that€day€saysÏthe€Lord,€you€will€call€me€'my€husband,'€and€no€longer€will€you€call€me€'my€Baal'€for€I€willÏremove€the€names€of€the€Baals€from€your€mouth,€and€they€shall€be€mentioned€by€name€no€more.ÏAnd€I€will€make€for€you€a€covenant€on€that€day,€and€I€will€betroth€you€to€me€forever.€I€willÏbetroth€you€to€me€in€righteousness€and€in€justice€and€in€steadfast€love€and€in€mercy.€€I€willÏbetroth€you€to€me€in€faithfulness.€You€shall€know€the€Lord."ÌÌ€€€€€€€€That€woman€had€a€tragic€series€of€unfortunate€marriages,€but€she€began€to€see€through€theÏeyes€of€faith€how€her€own€struggles€with€immorality,€perhaps,€with€the€abuse€by€men€or€whateverÐ @-(, Ðother€problems€that€she€faced,€that€reality€of€her€own€life€was€providentially€tailored,€designed€byÏGod€to€prepare€her€to€recognize€Christ.€Many€interpreters€suppose€that€when€Jesus€said,€"And€theÏone€you€are€with€now€is€not€your€own€husband,"€that€that€supposes€that€she€is€sleeping€with€aÏman.€That€isn't€necessarily€all€that€the€text€is€suggesting.€The€idea€is€probably,€at€least€in€myÏopinion,€that€you've€had€five€husbands€and€the€one€you're€with€right€now,€that€is€me,€I'm€not€yourÏhusband.ÌÌ€€€€€He's€meeting€her€at€a€well.€In€the€Old€Testament,€do€you€know€enough€of€the€Old€TestamentÏto€recognize€what€often€takes€place€at€a€well?€You€meet€your€spouse-to-be;€you€meet€your€futureÏspouse.€That's€where€Isaac's€future€spouse€was€first€encountered.€That's€where€Jacob€meets€hisÏwife.€That's€where€Moses€meets€his€wife.€€Throughout€the€Old€Testament,€the€well€is€a€meetingÏplace€where€you€meet€your€future€husband.€ññÌññÌ€€€€€Here€is€this€Samaritan€woman€meeting€Jesus€and€he€points€out€how€you€have€five€husbandsÏand€she€sees€that.€And€then€He€says,€"But€the€one€you€are€with€now€is€not€your€husband."€NotÏyet,€at€least.€And€she€recalls€the€prophecy.€She€vividly€remembers€how€all€the€prophets€said€thatÏyou€are€going€to€have€these€five€Baals€until€the€Messiah€comes,€"the€prophet€like€unto€Moses."€ÏAnd€Hosea€and€Ezekiel€both€describe€how€the€Lord€will€send€this€prophet€Messiah€and€He€willÏbetroth€himself€to€the€Samaritans,€not€as€the€Baals€did,€not€as€a€taskmaster,€not€as€a€Lord€MasterÏdoes€a€slave€woman,€but€as€a€free€man€marries€a€free€woman€to€bear€children€for€freedom,€forÏresponsibility.€That's€why€she€says,€"Sir,€I€perceive€you€are€a€prophet.€You€are€a€prophet€like€untoÏMoses."€You€are€a€Messianic€figure.ÌÌ€€€€€What€lessons€can€we€learn€from€this€for€our€lives?€I€would€suggest€to€you€that€your€own€lifeÏhas€been€crafted€by€God€--€not€just€the€good€times,€but€the€bad€times;€not€just€the€easy€times,€butÏthe€hard€times.€You€all,€I€suspect,€have€undergone€some€sort€of€mistreatment€from€other€people,Ïand€if€you€are€married,€I€can€assure€you€because€your€spouse€is€fallible€and€sinful,€like€all€of€us,Ïthat€you€feel€hurt.€You've€been€wounded.€You€may€have€been€abused,€verbally€or€physically.ÏThis€woman€was€also,€like€her€people,€the€Samaritans,€like€our€society€today.€ññÌññÌ€€€€€God€gives€us€whatever€we€want.€If€we€want€Him,€He€gives€himself€to€us€lavishly.€If€we€wantÏthose€things€that€Satan€offers,€God's€wrathful€response€is€to€say,€"Fine,€you€don't€want€me.€YouÏwant€these€other€false€gods,€my€punishment€is,€you€want€em,€you€got€em,€and€they'll€pull€youÏdown.€But€eventually,€I€will€come€back€to€you€and€I€will€woo€you€away€from€them."€Right€now,ÏGod€is€calling€us,€right€where€we€are.€Given€the€tragic€and€the€painful€experiences€of€our€ownÏpast€lives,€we€need€to€look€into€the€interior€of€our€own€souls€and€recognize€that€God€has€allowedÏcertain€things€to€happen€to€us€in€order€for€us€to€recognize€Jesus€as€our€Lord,€as€our€Savior,€as€ourÏProphet,€but€as€our€husband,€as€the€one€who€gives€us€the€grace€to€live€out€our€own€marriageÏcovenant,€to€raise€a€family€in€Godliness.ÌÌÌññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññPersonal€Experience€About€the€Crisis€in€Marriage€ññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññas€an€Opportunity€to€Grow€Closer€to€JesusÌÌ€€€€€I€really€believe€that€Catholic€Christians€in€America€today€have€an€incredible€opportunity,€inÏthe€midst€of€all€of€these€crises€to€emerge€stronger€and€more€devout,€in€more€grace€than€everÐ @-(, Ðbefore.€I€want€to€tell€you€briefly€from€my€own€personal€experience€how€this€is€true.€In€seminary,Ïmy€wife€undertook€a€study€of€contraception.€And€as€a€result€of€being€very€open-minded€andÏprayerful,€she€came€to€change€her€mind.€She€is€going€to€share€about€that€later€on€today.€It€wasÏdifficult.€It€was€very€difficult€for€us€at€first.€We€prayed€for€assistance€and€God€gave€us€the€graceÏand€when€we€finally€got€off€contraception€and€we€opened€ourselves€up€to€God's€gift€of€life,€weÏwere€shocked€to€discover€that€God€had€granted€us€a€child.ÌÌ€€€€€We€were€so€excited,€even€though€it€disrupted€some€plans€that€we€had€made€to€go€over€toÏGreat€Britain€to€pursue€a€doctoral€program€in€Scotland,€even€though€I€knew€that€was€the€mostÏprestigious€route€to€take€and€all€of€that,€God€graced€us€so€much.€And€my€wife€looks€back€on€theÏlast€ten€or€twelve€years€of€our€marriage€life€and€she€says€that,€"You€know,€you€read€some€booksÏand€they€persuaded€you€to€talk€to€some€people€and€they€helped€you€see€the€Catholic€faith."€ButÏshe€recognizes€one€truth€above€all,€that€it€was€the€experience€of€fathering€that€really€opened€myÏmind,€perhaps€more€than€anything€else€to€understanding€the€Catholic€Church€as€the€family€ofÏGod,€created€by€God,€our€Father.€And€I€believe€that€if€we€will€accept€the€challenge€of€obedienceÏthat€we€will€see€the€hurts€and€the€weaknesses€in€our€own€lives,€in€our€own€marriages,€but€thenÏgive€them€over€to€Christ€and€say,€"Sir,€I€perceive€you€are€the€prophet.€You€are€the€Messiah.€YouÏare€the€Savior€of€my€life,€of€my€soul,€but€also€of€my€marriage€and€family."ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Jesus€Christ€will€give€us€the€grace€to€honor€His€law€and€to€rediscover€the€life-giving€powerÏof€the€marital€covenant,€every€time€we€renew€that€covenant€through€the€act€of€marriage.€OurÏdiscovery€of€the€truth€of€contraception,€I€am€sure,€led€us€to€be€more€open€to€other€truths€theÏCatholic€Church€proclaims.€Even€though€consciously€I€didn't€think€for€a€minute€that€the€CatholicÏChurch€was€really€a€viable€option€at€that€point.€Later€on,€though,€€I€discovered€many€truths€of€theÏCatholic€faith€through€hard€study.€I€don't€want€to€get€into€all€of€the€painful€details,€but€may€itÏsuffice€to€say€that,€since€Kimberly€only€became€a€Catholic€about€€a€€year-and-a-half€€ago,€weÏwent€through€approximately€four€--€maybe€four-and-a-half€years€--€of€painful€struggle.€One€of€myÏclosest€friends€counseled€her€to€consider€divorcing€me.€God€be€praised,€he€is€now€a€Catholic!€ÏBut€we€went€through€a€struggle€that€we€never,€ever€imagined€we€would€go€through.€€We€hadÏmarried€twelve€years€ago.€We€had€fashioned€a€covenant.€We€had€even€put€on€the€bulletin€for€theÏwedding€liturgy€an€explanation€of€what€the€marital€covenant€is€and€how€permanent€it€is€and€whatÏGod€had€designed€it€to€be.€We€went€through€four€or€five€years€of€hell.€I€can€say€it€honestly.€WeÏwent€through€times€when€we€could€barely€talk.€I€was€so€caught€up€with€a€rich€discovery€of€theÏglories€of€the€Catholic€Church.€My€life€was€theological€study€and€my€whole€life€had€beenÏdisrupted,€and€I€realized€God's€call€was€on€my€life.€And€I€tried€to€play€the€part€of€the€Holy€SpiritÏin€Kimberly's€life,€telling€her,€teaching€her,€forcing€sanctification€upon€her,€doing€all€of€theseÏthings€the€wrong€way.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€She€was€resistant€because€she€didn't€feel€any€great€need€to€find€God's€family.€€She€grew€upÏin€a€very€strong€family.€Mine€was€not€really€so€strong.€She€had€grown€up€in€a€very€alive€andÏdynamic€parish.€€The€congregations€I€had€experienced€were€barely€strong€enough€to€beÏconsidered€weak.€So,€for€me,€this€desperate€longing,€this€deep€search,€led€me€to€the€most€excitingÏreality€in€the€world.€For€her€it€was€sort€of€like,€"Well,€that's€interesting,€but€you're€a€minister.€MyÏdad's€a€minister.€My€brother€is€preparing€for€the€ministry.€My€uncle€is€a€minister.€I€was€thinkingÏabout€being€a€minister,€why€are€you€leaving€the€ministry?€Why€are€you€abandoning€me?"Ð @-(, Ї€€€€€€€€It€was,€for€all€practical€purposes,€felt€and€experienced€as€a€betrayal.€We€had€alwaysÏtheologized€together.€€Even€before€we€were€married,€in€our€dating,€we€discussed€scripture.€€Oh,Ïwe€had€good€times.€We€had€a€lot€of€other€things€to€talk€about,€too.€I€mean€we're€not€justÏtheologians.€But€we€loved€the€word€of€God;€we€loved€to€talk€about€it.€In€fact,€we€were€involvedÏin€ministry€together€for€years€before€we€got€married.€So€we€couldn't€understand€why€on€earthÏGod€would€allow€us€to€undergo€such€distress.ÌÌ€€€€€There€were€days,€I€could€say€there€were€weeks,€when€we€wondered€how€on€earth€our€marriageÏcould€survive.€In€fact,€I€often€thought€that€if€I€could€just€die€and€go€to€be€with€God,€it€would€be€soÏmuch€easier€for€Kimberly.€Later€on€I€discovered€she€was€feeling€the€same€way.€There€were€timesÏwhen€I€would€walk€out€and€slam€the€door€or€walk€around€the€block.€Times€when€she€did€theÏsame€thing.€Times€when€I€wouldn't€come€back€for€five€or€ten,€fifteen,€probably€thirty€minutes,Ïand€times€when€she€wouldn't€come€back€for€that€long€or€longer.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€I€didn't€know€why€God€allowed€such€a€grueling€and€distressing€experience€for€us.€It€justÏseemed€so€absurd.€I€had€been€teaching€courses€on€marriage€and€now€my€marriage€was€crumbling.ÏNow€my€life€was€falling€in€upon€me.€Now€I€couldn't€understand€why€God€would€have€me€pursueÏtruth€at€the€same€time€it€was€crushing€my€wife.€Why€would€He€have€me€teaching€covenant€andÏresearching€covenant€as€marriage€and€family€when€living€out€that€research,€living€out€theÏconclusions€of€my€study€seemed€to€be€tearing€my€marriage€and€family€apart?€We€wondered€if€weÏcould€stay€together.ÌÌ€€€€€There€were€times€when€we€couldn't€talk.€We€would€be€arguing€and€we€would€be€silent.€ThenÏI'd€wake€up€and€say,€"Do€you€have€any€other€thoughts€along€those€lines?"€"No,€I€don't€want€toÏtalk€about€it€any€more."€I€really€did€it€like€a€bumbling€fool.€I€didn't€know€how€to€do€it€right.€I€triedÏthis€way.€I€tried€to€read€things€to€her.€I€tried€to€make€her€read€things.€I€tried€to€get€her€to€listen€toÏtapes.€Nothing€worked.€Finally,€I€learned€that€the€sacrament€of€matrimony€is€not€my€action.€It'sÏJesus€Christ's€action€in€our€lives.€That€I€am€not€the€bond€of€unity.€I€am€not€the€spiritual€directorÏfor€my€wife.ÌÌ€€€€€I€remember€when€my€spiritual€director€was€helping€me€come€into€the€Church,€he€announcedÏthat€to€me.€"You€are€not€your€wife's€spiritual€director."€€I€was€shocked.€"What€do€you€mean?"ÏYou€see€in€Protestantism€and€many€circles€within€Protestantism,€husbands€are€taught€thatÏhusbands€are€their€wives'€spiritual€directors.€And€certainly€spiritual€leadership€should€be€providedÏin€the€marriage€and€the€family.€But€that's€not€the€same€thing€as€providing€all€of€the€intimate€andÏsecretive€details€that€you€share€with€your€spiritual€director.€A€spiritual€director€should€be€moreÏdetached.ÌÌ€€€€€So,€through€a€painful,€long,€gruesome€process,€I€discovered€what€the€sacrament€of€matrimonyÏreally€is€all€about.€I€am€convinced,€absolutely€certain€today,€that€our€marriage€would€not€haveÏmade€it€except€that€it€was€a€sacrament.€So€if€people€come€to€me,€or€if€people€go€to€Kimberly€andÏdescribe€horrible€marriage€situations,€I'm€going€to€tell€you,€we€can€basically€check€off€their€listÏsaying,€"Yeah,€yeah,€we€did€that.€Yeah,€that€happened€to€us,€that's€right.€We€experienced€that.ÏSure,€yeah,€he€did€that€to€me,€or€she€did€that€to€me."€€And€at€the€end€of€it€when€we€hear€them€say,Ï"That's€why€we€think€it's€hopeless,"€we€spring€into€action€and€say,€"Oh€no.€Jesus€Christ€hasÐ @-(, Ðprepared€you€to€discover€greater€riches€and€graces€in€the€sacrament€of€your€own€marriage€thanÏyou€ever€imagined€before."ÌÌÌññ€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ññPractical€ConclusionsÌÌ€€€€€€€€Now€that's€true€in€marriages€in€crisis.€But€what€about€ordinary€marriages€that€have€notÏundergone€that€kind€of€strain€or€that€kind€of€stress.€I€want€to€end€with€just€some€practicalÏconclusions€that€I€have€arrived€at€through€pondering€the€relationship€between€Jesus€Christ€andÏHis€Church€and€how€that€applies€in€perhaps€more€ordinary€marriages€in€everyday€ways.ÌÌ€€€€€First€of€all,€I€want€to€encourage€every€spouse€here,€or€every€future€spouse€here€to€commitÏyourself€to€a€life€of€prayer.€Orthodox€doctrine€without€prayer€is€boring.€Liturgy€without€prayer€isÏboring.€Marriage€and€family€life€without€prayer€is€boring€and€burdensome.€We€need€daily€prayer.ÏWe€need€daily€mental€prayer€to€foster€that€deep€covenant€of€friendship€with€Jesus€Christ.€OnlyÏthen€can€romance€and€sex€and€intimacy€become€the€things€that€God€designed€them€to€be.€If€weÏmake€that€the€be-€all€and€end-all,€we€know,€I€can€tell€you€for€sure,€our€marriages€will€flounder.ÏSexual€intimacy€is€not€meant€to€be€fireworks,€but€rather€glowing€embers€that€God€uses€to€bringÏthe€warmth€of€covenant€love€and€life€into€everyday€experience.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€We€need,€therefore,€a€lot€of€humility€and€patience€before€God€and€before€our€spouse.€WeÏneed€to€recognize€ourselves€for€who€we€are,€with€our€weaknesses.€We€need€to€recognize€JesusÏChrist€as€the€Lord€and€Savior€of€our€lives€and€of€our€marriages€and€families,€and€a€source€of€theÏdaily€graces€we€need.€We€need€to€see€that€the€speck€we€have€detected€in€our€spouse's€eye€is€notÏnormally€as€big€as€the€beam€in€our€own.€We€often€exaggerate€the€faults€in€our€spouse€because€weÏhave€not€allowed€the€Lord€to€show€us€our€own€problems.€But€if€there€is€one€truth€I€really€believeÏthat€we€need€to€live€more€than€any€other,€it's€forgiveness.€Jesus€Christ€has€forgiven€the€Church.ÏHe€has€washed€her.€He€has€cleansed€her€by€the€washing€of€water€with€the€word.€He€has€given€toÏus€His€own€Holy€Spirit,€so€that€we,€as€His€bride,€might€be€pure€and€holy.€€Therefore,€the€Christ-ÏChurch€relationship€gives€to€us€the€greatest€principle€of€forgiveness.€That€is€the€way€we€live€ourÏdaily€lives.ÌÌ€€€€€In€light€of€that€we€need€to€respect€each€other's€freedom.€I€am€not€the€Holy€Spirit.€I€amÏKimberly's€husband.€She€is€not€the€Holy€Spirit€to€me.€We€cannot€force€each€other€to€do€certainÏthings.€We€have€to€respect€freedom.€We€also€have€to€assume€the€best€on€the€part€of€the€other€andÏtrust€God€to€work€in€the€life€of€our€spouse€and€see€that€that€is€what€the€covenant€is€there€for.ÌÌ€€€€€We€need€to€recognize€that€the€other€person€is€filled€with€Christ.€So€ultimately,€I'm€not€trustingÏa€fallible€sinner€who€is€just€like€me,€I€am€trusting€Jesus€Christ€in€His€capacity€and€His€desire€toÏwork€in€her€life€just€as€He€can€work€in€mine.€And€as€we€experience€that,€we€can€find€commonÏground.€We€can€cultivate€common€interests.€We€can€really€share€the€natural€and€the€supernaturalÏlife€that€we€have€in€Christ€together.€ññÌññÌ€€€€€Now€I€would€like€to€end€just€by€giving€you€some€practical€tips€for€your€own€consideration,Ïand€actually€for€your€own€reading.€I€have€with€me€four€books€that€I€think€are€among€the€very€bestÐ @-(, Ðfor€your€own€spiritual€life€and€also€for€your€marriage€and€family€life.€The€first€one€is€a€book€byÏJohn€Kippley,€Sex€and€the€Marriage€Covenant.€€It€is€a€revised€edition€of€the€book€I€read€back€inÏ1980€and€'81€that€changed€my€mind€on€contraception.€It€is€for€all€practical€purposes,€the€mostÏpersuasive€and€the€most€practical€book,€if€you€want€to€understand€the€Church's€teaching€onÏcontraception€or€if€you€want€to€help€other€people€to€understand€it.€ñ ñÌñ ñÌ€€€€€€€€Another€book€that€I€find€extremely€helpful€is€Marriage,€a€Path€to€Sanctity,€by€two€authors,ÏXavier€Abaud€and€Eugenio€Fenoi.€This€is€available€in€the€hall€over€by€the€Scepter€book€table,ÏScepter€Press.€Marriage,€a€Path€to€Sanctity.€€What€this€book€shows€is€that€marriage€is€a€vocationÏevery€bit€as€much€as€Holy€Orders€is€a€vocation.€I€work€a€lot€with€young€people€at€the€UniversityÏof€Steubenville€and€I€often€hear€them€talking€about€them€discerning€a€vocation.€And€once€theyÏdiscover€that€the€priesthood€is€not€for€them,€or€the€religious€life€is€not€for€them,€they€will€act€asÏthough€they€don't€have€a€vocation.€How€odd!€Marriage€is€just€as€much€a€vocation€from€God€asÏHoly€Orders€or€the€religious€life.€ñ"ññ!ñÐ  ¬ü  Ðñ!ññ"ññ#ñÌñ#ñÌ€€€€€We€need€to€recognize€that€we€are€not€second-class,€inferior€citizens€in€the€kingdom€of€GodÏbecause€we€are€married.€€We€have€a€divine€mission€and€marriage€is€the€vocation€in€which€we€willÏfind€our€own€sanctity€and€impart€that€to€our€beloved€spouse€as€well.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€Two€other€books€that€I€have€brought€with€me€--€€this€one€is€entitled,€In€My€Mother's€Womb,€Ïby€Donna€DiMarco.€It's€subtitled,€"The€Catholic€Church's€Defense€of€Natural€Life."€The€reasonÏwhy€I€brought€about€a€hundred€copies€of€this€book€is€because€I€find€it€to€be€very€helpful€inÏshowing€Catholics€how€to€go€about€defending€the€controversial€teachings€of€the€Church€in€theÏ1990s.€A€hundred€years€ago,€the€Church's€teaching€in€the€area€of€abortion€or€contraception€orÏhomosexuality,€these€teachings€weren't€controversial.€These€teachings€were€recognized€by€non-ÏCatholic€Christians,€by€non-Christian€thinkers€as€being€rooted€in€the€natural€law.€Only€now,€inÏthe€1990s,€we€find€ourselves€in€a€very€uncomfortable€and€unusual€situation€where€the€CatholicÏChurch€alone€is€upholding€the€teachings€of€natural€law.ÌÌ€€€€€€€€This€book€touches€on€abortion,€contraception,€homosexuality,€artificial€insemination,Ïdivorce€and€remarriage€and€a€host€of€other€issues.€With€practical€stories,€anecdotes€and€manyÏprofound€arguments,€DiMarco€shows€how€you€can€convince€family€members€and€friends€of€theÏChurch's€teaching€on€defense€of€natural€life€and€the€sanctity€of€the€marriage€bond.€If€you€begin€toÏread,€you€will€begin€to€grow.€You€will€begin€to€share€in€a€much€more€natural€way.€If€you've€seenÏa€movie€or€if€you€have€read€a€book,€you€talk€about€it€in€daily€conversation.€It€doesn't€seem€forcedÏor€artificial.ÌÌThank€you€very€much.ñ$ñÌÌCopyright€1994ÌSt.€Joseph€Communications€Inc.ÌPO€BOX€720ÌW.COVINA,€CA.€91793Ì818-331-3549Ì800-526-2151Ð @-(, ÐTom€Sullivan€(Crnet€E-Mail)ÌTom.Sullivan@crnet.org€(Internet€E-Mail)ÌÌ-------------------------------------------------------------------€€€€The€electronic€form€of€this€document€isÏcopyrighted.Ì€€€Copyright€(c)€Trinity€Communications€1995.Ì€€€Provided€courtesy€of:ÌÌ€€€€€€€€The€Catholic€Resource€NetworkÌ€€€€€€€€Trinity€CommunicationsÌ€€€€€€€€PO€Box€3610Ì€€€€€€€€Manassas,€VA€22110Ì€€€€€€€€Voice:€703-791-2576Ì€€€€€€€€Fax:€703-791-4250Ì€€€€€€€€Data:€703-791-4336Ì€€€€€€€€FTP:€CRNET.ORGÌ€€€€€€€€Telnet:€CRNET.ORGÌ€€€€€€€€Email€address:€SYSOP@CRNET.ORGÌÌ€€€The€Catholic€Resource€Network€is€a€Catholic€online€Ì€€€information€and€service€system.ÌÌ€€€To€browse€CRNET€or€join,€telnet€to€CRNET>ORG€or€Ì€€€set€your€modem€to€8€data€bits,€1€stop€bit€and€no€parity,€€€€€and€call€1-703-791-4336.€You€will€beÏconnected€in€Ì€€€terminal€mode.€Windows'€users€may€download€CRNET's€Ì€€€superb€graphical€interface€free€by€choosing€"Get€Client€€€€€Software"€from€the€main€menu€or€byÏanonymous€ftpÌ€€€from€CRNET.ORG.Ì€€€-------------------------------------------------------------------€Ìñ$ñ